Love

My wife spends a little bit of time with Ann almost on a weekly basis when the universe allows. Ann is sort of a guru, that provides insights into the way the universe is unfolding, and perhaps how to respond to that unfolding. This afternoon I asked my wife what they spoke about in this morning’s session. Madeleine answered, somewhat hesitantly that, they talked (I presume in part) about this blog. Ann’s observation was that this blog is, or at least has been, primarily driven by a rational point of view. This is my paraphrase of Madeleine’s paraphrase. And that this blog is not about love, at least not yet, nor is it about my experience of love.

I don’t disagree with Ann’s observation.

She would agree that her observation and my response could not be otherwise.

Over the last six weeks I have been toying with the idea about writing an essay about James, our late son. One of observations from my experience with James is that I became a believer in love at first sight. But that is for another day. This is in juxtaposition with Madeleine, my wife of forty two years. I knew her for more than two years before we became an item. Initially, she was not my type. But that all became moot point after she made a pass at me, back in the December of ’74. So, what can I say here? I could gush about these two experiences of love. But that would not be me. Perhaps, pushing my boundaries; but not the current me. Perhaps I could write about the biochemistry and an oxytocin release catching me in a right frame of mind. But I don’t think this is what Ann had in mind.

In my life, I have loved a handful of people: my parents, my Gran, Madeleine, James. An extended family came into my life relatively late. I had or have perhaps a couple close friends one of whom passed away. The dreaded in-laws at marriage and eighteen years ago my brother and his family. Now I have varying degrees of affection for them, depending on the quantity and perhaps quality of exposure. OK, that sounded cold, but it was honest as I could make it. I suppose some of the affection would begin to approach love or at least what I think of as love.

Some Christians I have discussed this sort of thing with see God as Love. To me their concept seems muddled. I certainly cannot turn on compassion, nevermind love on at a switch. Either I will experience it [love or compassion] or not. I suppose it could be argued that I could train myself to have a better access to these feelings, should I possess that desire.

Madeleine just explained that Ann had asked where does love come from? The answer we are not hoping for here is the how our biochemistries respond to various stimuli of touch, scent, sight and sound. And of course, the biochemistries have been shaped by the evolution of not just life but the universe itself. Nevertheless, this is not an unreasonable answer. Having said that, Ann must understand that our experience of love is an illusion [not as it seems], much as is our experience of colour or a beautiful sunset. So, what is the point of asking where our love comes from? We can try and understand how the universe unfolds and just accept the illusory love for what it is. Understanding the optics of a rainbow in no way reduces its beauty.

Apparently Ann went on to say my intelligence [mind] was my idol or something similar. Ouch. Well perhaps it is true. Again, if true, it could not be any other way could it? Is it a problem, if so for whom? How is it a problem? Or is my mind being an idol OK too?

Ann, I think you understand acceptance is the key. The universe is unfolding we are shaped by and shape that unfolding.

In The Jesus Sayings I said “I see, “spiritual spirit” in some people around me, not so much what they say, but more so in what they do and how they do it.” Ann you are one of the people I have in mind when I see grace in others. Do I love you Ann? The cerebral answer has to be “No”, but I do have affection for you and Doug (Ann’s husband), for you are one.